Dealing with People that Disagree with Me
A few weeks ago after an awesome day I decided to meet up with my good friend @kelvinlomby and got to spend some quality time with someone which over the last two years has become a good friend.
Intelligent and Great Human Being
I admire many of @kelvinlomboy’s qualities. Being one of the most knowledgeable young IT Security professionals I know, I get to learn a lot from Kelvin from a professional and technical perspective.
An Example to follow when it comes to Patience
On the other side I learn even more from him on the way he approaches life. He emits very positive vibes and gets along with other people in a way that I kind of wish I did. His patience is admirable when trying to understand how others think even when he might not agree with them. After a conversation almost a year ago every time I get frustrated my friend Kelvin pops into my head and his words of wisdom make me take better decisions.
The Many Roads I have traveled
My life experiences have taken me through different roads and seeing life from an angle that many around me might not understand. Social Media has helped me find individuals with the same common interests as I have. In only 31 years I have been very lucky to live through many things that others might not have the opportunity to live.
Here are mixes of my experiences that make me very different from many others:
- I lived a good part of my childhood in a city with the Highest Crime Rate in the U.S. (Bridgeport, CT). I saw many things I have issues with sharing to these days.
- I had close family members in Gangs
- I had close family members that controlled and moved drugs around various areas.
- I lost many of those family members at an early age
- My Dad was disabled and spent a good amount of time in the Hospital
- My Mom to this day suffers from many illnesses that she has been working with since before I was a teenager
- I work since I am 12 years old only started getting paid most of the time when I was 15.
- I started my first business grooming dogs when I was 15.
- I enlisted in the Military when I was 17 left as military instructor.
- I served in the U.S. Army and Army Reserves for 8 years
- I worked at Sam’s Club not the easiest place to be cashier.
- I worked as a Bartender and Waiter for a little more than 4 years.
- I studied Accounting
- I worked for AOL trying to get people to subscribe.
- Through college I was involved in the ROTC, US Army Reserve, and always holding more than 2 part time jobs at a time. I still had a load of 18+ credits every semester.
- I worked at various Public Accounting Firms including KPMG.
- I Iived out of a suitcase while at KPMG for over 18 months while working out of Manhattan.
- I have worked as an IT security consultant for top Global Companies in the Banking, Insurance, and Manufacturing Industry.
- I became Vegetarian in 2006
- I decided to go own my own at age 28 to start CIMA IT Solutions.
Mix my Past experiences and background with the following 10 things and you can understand why I normally think very differently from the closest people rest around me:
- Not wanting to eat meat
- Being in Puerto Rico and being Pro Animal Rights
- Wanting Puerto Rico to become independent
- Different to many on the Island I only drink on special occasions
- Being Male and hating Machismo (by the way I also feel that Feminism disunites more than it unites)
- Wanting to have my own business running
- Willing to take risks
- Putting the Pursuit of Happiness over making income
- Doing business with good quality people
- Staying away from toxic people even if it means it will hurt my business economically
The previous list of ten things usually makes me someone to easily polarize others. There are people that don’t like me; a few have even expressed it and I truly respect them for their honesty while others that don’t have the guts to tell me. The people that really count are those that are my supporters and love me unconditionally.
Dealing with People that Disagree with Me
I love a good respectful argument, the problem is that many others really don’t. I am able to continue my discussion and get my point across. On most occasions people that disagree with me end up staying as far away from me as possible. I really appreciate those that don’t agree with me most of the time and stay near while being respectful. They really help me grow as a person.
If you were always around people that think like you it can become very boring. You need a diversity of minds to help you look at things from various perspectives. By doing that you are allowing your mind to travel out and see what is in it for you. On many occasions those that have disagreed with me have become key people in my life and my business.
Although I wish I could deal with people like Kelvin does I have to come to the reality that I am myself and I won’t change much.
It is all in the way you surround yourself with healthy relationships that make you stronger.
My point of view is that I get strength and respect from people I am fully transparent with and don’t contradict themselves.
How do you deal with those that don’t always agree with you?
photo credit by IvanWalsh.com
I can relate to some of experience growing up. How do I deal with people that don’t agree with me? I listen to them, then I try to explain the reasons as to why. People can agree to disagree and still be respectful to each other.
Kofla
@ God of War Diaries
Kofia,
I agree with you.. As long as they are respectful I don’t have a problem. I have issues when people take it as an offense just because you think differently.
I read your list and I can identify with you. I struggle with the same issues with people, for the same reason: I see things from a differente perspective, a much wider one. It is a challenge every day to deal with people with a narrow way of thinking, but I opt to understand where they come from and why they might think that way, so I feel less annoyed by their thoughts or point of views. I don’t expect anyone to think like I do, ’cause I’m me; so by not expecting that I feel free of annoyance, but it hits me once in a while don’t get me wrong. I concentrate in the positive, ’cause like you, I’ve lived so much negative, that i’m done with that (being there, done that) and I dont want my children to grown out of it. Sometimes I’ve felt abnormal, but I’m glad there is you, as abnormal as me. lol 😉 yay!!
Well I guess one of the main thing is just understanding people see things differently and that we are all different once we get past that phase using my good friend @chrisbrogan:disqus advice on understanding most people that act in even bad ways are good people that are just confused.
I completely agree in keeping toxic people out of your life. There is no benefit.
Debate is a great way to keep your mind sharp. I’d love to get better at it. I grew up where it was necessary to assert yourself so you wouldn’t get pushed around. Attitude was queen, so I find I argue better when I have a passion for the subject. I am able to walk away and agree to disagree mainly because my time is precious and I hate to waste it on blockheads. lol
I find the older I get, the easier it becomes to let go of things that are not good for my spirit and good for you that you are proactive in becoming a better you. Best wishes.
Letty,
I see myself also picking my battles but it is in my nature to always state my point of view. Although many times I would prefer taking your approach and walking away when I look at it after it has happened.