When I started using facebook and later on twitter I kept on my bad habit of collecting contacts online. I remember when I used ICQ at the end of the 90’s where I kept on adding people to have more people to chat with but over the years I had grown many contacts. I was able to migrate contacts all the way from ICQ to my contacts on twitter and facebook.

The last few months I have taken a different approach and have been fixing my old and terrible habit of connecting with people which in the long run have very little in common with me.

Analyzing why I have been disconnecting from contacts I have want to share the  5 reasons why I will disconnect, unfollow, or/and unfriend someone:

  1. Spammers are one of the main reasons why I never connect or disconnect with a user via twitter of facebook. Some spammers use tools and they can take too much of your time offering things you have no interest in. There are also spammers that manually are constantly sending the same message to many contacts because They have an offer you can’t refuse.
  2. They’re Offensive and are out to create or stir trouble. Some of them create so much drama and then attempt to become martyrs. These are usually the ones that will also cause more damage when you un-follow them. It is better to detach now than later and if you are still thinking if you want to stay with some attachment to this person ask yourself. Why do We stay near TOXIC People?
  3. Self Centered it is my experience that most of the people that are offensive have also been very self-centered. Using social media should be about creating a balance in sharing your experiences and being generous enough to share the knowledge of others. My friend @chrisbrogan is always sharing and is extremely generous in talking about the accomplishments of his community. Not only does he become a go to person to get info every once in a while he will sell a product or service he fully supports and I have been known to buy it without hesitation.
  4. All they do is broadcast there products, services, accomplishments, and how great they are. Broadcasting equals less Engagement so remember that social networking is about having reciprocity. I usually receive more people engaged in my projects when I put the spotlight on the people that are around me and are great. I try to recognize talents like for example @ricklipsett who is a great digital artist (although he can be a graphic designer also). I admire @michaeldcc’s work on his blog Poder5 for keeping it up and always keeping me posted on what is happening locally. So if you find people that are RT’ing when someone mentions them or are talking about how great they are stealing the glory even from clients just tune them out and remove them from your lists or connections.
  5. Failure to Add Value I mainly use twitter and facebook to share my ideas and content that might be useful to my community. Every once in a while I also add a bit of humor or something to show people I am human also but mainly I try to bring value. Adding value is very difficult to define and I would like to hear about how people add value for you online. If I see someone’s updates are full of hate or with the main purpose to destroy someone else that will get you an automatic un-follow.

When I disconnect online I usually disconnect offline. Some people tend to live dual personalities (1 online and another 1 for offline interactions). So if I disconnected with you online there is a good probably I want no interaction with you offline. There are so many great people with similar interests that i have met online and offline. Why should I waste your time with those that bring no value to your quality of life.

What other reasons or behaviors have you identified to disconnect from people either online or offline?

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. Prometeo on February 26, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Another reason to disconnect from someone online is lack of relevance and poor taste. Some people only tweet what they do or feel or think without any purpose at all. I don’t need to know if a person is going to put his/her clothes in the dryer or read a stream of his day chores as he/she does them. I mean it’s OK that every once in a while one shares such things but doing it every time is annoying. Other people are really using the social media outlets to narrate their “adventure” in everyday life. Some even talk about what they do in their beds. I’ve had to make some cuts too and it’s really worth it.



    • Raul Colon on February 26, 2011 at 8:01 pm

      I think lack of relevance is key. I think trimming down is well worth it.